For a Philistine State
As I listened to Prime Minister Ehud Olmert address a joint session of the American Congress, and as I saw how his distinguished audience repeatedly gave him standing and thunderous ovations each time he expressed his ardent desire to facilitate the establishment of a “Palestinian” state, I thought I was witnessing lunatic asylum more bizarre than anything imagined by Kafka.
Of course, I was aware that Olmert’s fantasies and his audience’s hypocrisy, or his madness and their stupidity, together herald another unspeakable crime against the Jewish people.
Not that I believe there will be a Palestinian state. Such a state is impossible if only because the “Palestinian people” to which Mr. Olmert repeatedly referred, and to which his distinguished audience so happily nodded, does not exist. This non-people consists of a welter of rival clans led by thugs that employ a barbaric religion to con fools like those who applauded Israel’s pretentious prime minister.
Of course, all this is also laughable. After all, the self-styled Palestinians trace their ancestry to the Philistines, a race as extinct as the dodos. And as everyone knows, a “Philistine” denotes an uncultured and backward person. Hence, to establish a Palestinian state is to establish a state of “Philistines”! I doubt Mr. Olmert is capable of such an enterprise—however fond he may be of Philistines.
In any event, by designating themselves as “Palestinians,” the Arabs who now occupy Judea, Samaria, and Gaza have unwittingly given the lie to their existence as a people. One looks in vain for a Palestinian language or a Palestinian culture. How can Philistines be cultured—quite apart from the fact that the self-styled “Palestinian” Arabs did not exist prior to 1964?
The absurdity doesn’t stop here. The ancient Philistines, who died out 3,000 years ago, were pagans; they worshipped idols and indulged in gruesome rites. Is it not ironic that Arab Palestinians—supposedly monotheists—should have borrowed the name of pagans and polytheists? They have done so, of course, in order to displace and eventually obliterate the only people who have developed an authentic culture in “Palestine”—the Jews, who have lived in this land for 3,500 years.
Nevertheless, the Arabs have conned the progressive democratic world in general, and those who applauded Mr. Olmert in particular, into believing in the existence of a Palestinian people. This the Arabs could the more readily do because the democratic world is tired of the Jews and would like to see them become as extinct as the ancient Philistines.
So, rather than tread the beaten track of Philistines, that is, rather than expose the “Palestinian people” as a deadly hoax, let me offer an alternative.
I propose that the Government of Israel advocate the establishment of a “Philistine” state on the “West Bank.” To this end Prime Minister Olmert should issue the following declaration:
“Be it known to progressive men and women everywhere that all Philistines have a right to live in the West Bank. By Philistines we mean not only the Arabs presently dwelling therein but also their brethren in Jordan, Lebanon, Iraq, Syria, and America.
“Be it further known that the Philistine people include the 1,300,000 Arab citizens of Israel. Recognizing that these followers of Muhammad identify with the Philistines of yesteryear, and therefore with their kinsmen on the West Bank, the progressive Government of Israel has exempted them from serving in Israel’s infidel defense forces.
“This exemption, be it noted, preceded the Gulf War, when a poll indicated that no less than 62 percent of Israel’s Arab citizens openly supported Iraq’s progressive ruler, Saddam Hussein. Such passionate devotion should be rewarded. Israel’s Arab citizens have thus earned the right to participate in the formation of a Philistine state.
“Lastly, we, the most progressive Jews of Israel, do hereby declare: PHILISTINES OF THE WORLD, COME AND JOIN YOUR BRETHREN IN THE ONE AND ONLY PHILISTINE STATE IN THE MIDDLE EAST. LET US MAKE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE!”
